When You Finally Find One
by Elbereth in April
Summary: This is a crosssover with Dragonball. The GT gang is accidentally transported to their dimension, where they end up fighting demons and falling in love.
1. 1: In Which We Make New Friends and

When You Finally Find One  
  
By Elbereth in April  
  
Copyright 2003  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragonball Z. I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho. Aren't they cool, though?  
  
OK, I freely admit that I am writing 4 stories at once. And I admit that I should be working on the ones I already have started before posting this. Well, so what. Here goes. . .  
  
________ __________  
  
Chapter 1: In Which We Make New Friends and End Up in Another Dimension  
  
I suppose you could say I have definite opinions. I'll admit to this; after all, doesn't everybody? But don't you call me stubborn. If I'm intractable about a certain issue, that only means I've researched it already, and come to the conclusion that I am right.  
  
Take my daddy for instance. I've thought about this long and hard, and decided that no other man could come close. It's why I'm still single at 21, I suppose. Who could compare to the best man on Earth?  
  
At any rate, I haven't met him yet.  
  
_______ ________  
  
Fast forward to the day this story starts. I had invited over my two close friends, Pan and Marron. We were sitting in the kitchen, eating yogurt, debating on what to do next--have a friendly spar or go shopping, our two favorite activities--when Trunks and Goten came walking in.  
  
"Trunks!" I exclaimed. "You ran out on work again!" Now that I was almost out of college, he and I had been taking turns running Capsule Corp as co-Presidents, and today had been his weekend to work.  
  
He laughed sheepishly, one hand behind his head, doing a very good Son Family imitation. "Nothing important was going on."  
  
I shook my head and sighed.  
  
"All right! Five-way spar!" Pan suggested, licking the last of her yogurt off her spoon. Marron nodded enthusiastically. The 3 of us shrugged.  
  
And it was just then that we heard a loud crash outside, as if an air ship had wrecked in our backyard. We all blinked at each other and then ran out to see what had happened.  
  
Trunks and I recognized the ship from old family photos. "It's Mirai Trunks' time machine!" I cried. We ran over to it, worried. Smoke was coughing out its back engine. The door slowly opened, as if it was stuck on its hinges.  
  
Mirai Trunks himself got out. He still had the long purple hair and the blue CC jacket. He wore baggy navy pants and black boots and had his sword strapped to his back. I observed him carefully. He was so like *my* Trunks, but his eyes had a haunted pain in them from seeing things my brother had never seen. He seemed to be around 25 or 26, a few years younger than my Trunks.  
  
He looked at us in surprise. He stared at his other self in wonder. "You've grown," he stated. "This isn't the year I meant to land in at all. This stupid machine is malfunctioning." Then his eyes rested on me. "Mom? No. . ."  
  
I smiled, then leaped on him and hugged him. "I always wanted to meet you! I'm your little sister, Bura!"  
  
His eyes were huge. He pulled back a bit to study me. "A sister? Mom and Dad are still together?" And then, "They named you *Bura*?"  
  
I grinned; I'd become resigned to my name long ago. "That's *Princess* Bura, thank you."  
  
Pan pushed her way forward. "Hi, I'm Gohan's daughter. I've heard about you!"  
  
"I'm Goten, Gohan's younger brother." Mirai was looking more and more befuddled.  
  
"And I'm Marron, Krillin's daughter." She waved.  
  
"Woah, Krillin found a wife?"  
  
We all laughed. "So what are you doing here?" Trunks asked.  
  
Mirai looked down, suddenly sad and depressed. "I just killed Buu. I-- I wanted a vacation. Earth can get along without me for awhile."  
  
"What about Mom?"  
  
The pain in his expression increased. "Buu killed her," he told us softly.  
  
Silence. Then I hugged him again. "I'm so sorry."  
  
Pan changed the subject. "What do you mean you didn't want to come to this year?"  
  
"I just wanted to come over to your reality at the same point my timeline was in. Right after the death of Buu," Mirai explained. "I thought Trunks would be about 8 years old."  
  
"Ah. Yes. I was, when we fought Buu." Trunks nodded.  
  
"Then you did fight him, too?"  
  
"Yeah. And boy, was it hard! It took Goku and Vegeta together to beat him."  
  
________ _________  
  
Fast forward a bit, to all of us sitting cross-legged on the lawn and talking, the time machine still smoldering in the background, waiting for my mom to get home to fix it. We'd discussed the Vegeta-Briefs family at length, Goten had told his story, and now it was Pan's turn:  
  
"Of course, a 15 year age difference is a lot, but Mom was only 19 when she had me, after all. Anyway, he's such a cute baby brother, even if Dad did insist on naming him Piccolo. . ."  
  
_______ ________  
  
And now switch to New Namek. An alien named Deus was talking to a demon called Itsuki. Gathered around them were 7 dragonballs, a number of Namekian corpses, and a portal to a place called the Makai. Deus was running his hands covetously over the dragonballs and Itsuki's hands were occupied holding an unconscious human guy named Sensui.  
  
Deus and Itsuki had just come to a deal. "So, it's agreed then?" Deus asked. "I got you the dragonballs so you can wish your lover back to health. That's one wish. I use the next wish to send my most hated enemy to your reality, where you'll take care of killing him."  
  
"Leaving you free to conquer your enemy's planet of residence, with an eye on the rest of the universe. Yes, it's agreed. But what about the third wish?"  
  
Desu thought. "I think I'll save it. In case there are problems."  
  
"Fine. Let's begin."  
  
The first wish was made, and Sensui slowly opened his eyes. "Nani?" he began, while Itsuki hugged him in joy. As he explained the situation to his newly awakened lover, Deus made the second wish.  
  
"For years you've haunted my existence, the cause of all my suffering," the alien snarled, a rather insane light in his eyes. "But no more!" Switching to Namekian, he commanded, "I wish for the Prince of the Saiyans currently on Earth to be transported to Itsuki's home dimension, to the realm of the Makai!"  
  
__________ ________  
  
Now here's where things get confusing. As it just so happened, at that time there were 3 Saiyan Princes on the Earth. And the dragon, not liking Deus one bit, decided to just pick one at random (and not the one he was pretty sure the alien meant).  
  
So, in midsentence, Mirai Trunks disappeared. You can, of course, imagine our confusion, as we didn't figure out the cause until much later. Not until that alien showed up on Earth, with no idea what was about to hit him.  
  
_______ ________  
  
When we felt the evil ki, we all gathered around the alien spaceship-- Daddy, Trunks, Goten, Gohan, Pan, and I. Marron and Mom were hovering in the background, along with Videl, holding the hand of her 6 year old son.  
  
"It's a Thaddian ship," Daddy informed us. "That planet was brought into Frieza's Empire by force. Frieza wanted their technology. He sent me to convince them to offer themselves as his servants."  
  
An enemy, then. Well, we'd figured that out already.  
  
Deus was shocked and furious when he got out of his ship and saw Vegeta. "You! You're supposed to be dead!" he screamed.  
  
Daddy raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What makes you think that?"  
  
"That was the deal! How did you get back to Earth from where the dragon sent you?"  
  
We looked at each other. "Why don't you tell us the whole story," Daddy commanded.  
  
"Just die!" Deus was practically foaming at the mouth as he attacked us.  
  
He was, of course, overmatched. The fight was brief, though ugly, but we eventually got the tale out of him. Daddy gave him one chance to just go away and leave us alone, and when he refused, Daddy killed him. He takes our safety seriously.  
  
At any rate, we decided to go to New Namek to wish Mirai back from that other dimension. Daddy stayed on Earth to protect it. Goten, Trunks, and Pan volunteered to go. Marron and I determined we would go, too. Krillin and 18 agreed easily enough, and after another brief but ugly battle, Daddy agreed to let me go, too.  
  
I do usually get my way.  
  
So Trunks swore to protect me with his life, and Mom got a spaceship ready. And we were off.  
  
_______ ________  
  
So a few months after Mirai Trunks had vanished, we stood on New Namek, talking to their Guru, arranging for a guide to make the last wish for us, as none of us spoke Namekian.  
  
We ended up with a young, flighty fellow, who I believe Guru sent with us because he found him as annoying as I did. He was much given to getting distracted by dandelions and patterns of clouds.  
  
Fast forward to the 6 of us gathered around the dragonballs, the dragon hovering in the air, and our guide only half-listening to our wish. And let this explain why, instead of Trunks getting wished back to our dimension, we were wished to his.  
  
________ ________  
  
When the mist and darkness cleared, we looked around and found ourselves in a very ancient forest, with trees towering above us as far as we could stretch our necks back to look.  
  
We argued amongst ourselves until we figured out what must have happened, then began a search for Mirai's ki.  
  
Interestingly enough, it was several dozen feet above us. And someone else was with him--someone who was very strong, whose aura was a bit dark and strange. But I sensed no danger.  
  
I shrugged. "Trunks and I will go up," I said. "You stay here and keep watch."  
  
So Trunks and I flew slowly upwards, to where 2 people were asleep on either end of a huge tree branch. Mirai--and an incredibly attractive, black-haired, black-cloaked guy. I think my only coherent thought at that point was "Wow!"  
  
"Mirai Trunks-kun!" Trunks called softly.  
  
There was a blur as the stranger uncoiled himself and faced us in a fighting stance, a katana in his hand. Mirai woke a little slower, but straight into a defensive crouch, wildly peering around.  
  
"Trunks! Bura!" His face lit up, and without thinking he dived for us and hugged us. Fortunately, we each caught an arm before he realized he'd better start flying, quickly.  
  
The other stared at us with narrowed red eyes, a frown on his face, still holding his sword ready. I noticed that his right arm was bandaged. Had they been fighting Desu's friends?  
  
"What's all this?" he demanded in an absolutely gorgeous voice. "Who are they?"  
  
I decided to grace him with my most reassuring and beautiful smile (one I had learned after much trial and error, used most often on Daddy).  
  
"I'm Bura," I told him. "I'm his sister."  
  
Something flickered behind his eyes, but I couldn't catch it. "Hn," he said. The similarities between him and Daddy were escalating.  
  
"And this is--well, this is me, from an alternate timeline," Mirai indicated Trunks.  
  
"Them?" he grunted, pointing down.  
  
"Goten, Pan, and Marron, our friends," Trunks supplied, smiling as well.  
  
"More ningens," he complained.  
  
"Well, no, actually, none of us are fully human, now that you mention it," Trunks mused.  
  
He blinked.  
  
"And what are you, if not ningen?"  
  
"And what's your name?"  
  
He looked discomfited at all the questions we were throwing at him. Then he recovered that indifferent demeanor, finally sheathing his blade, and crossing his arms. "I'm a demon, of course! I'm Hiei."  
  
I whispered his name in my mind. It sounded like a caress. I smiled in growing satisfaction. Dangerous, bad attitude, strong. How strong was he? I wondered. I wanted to see him fight.  
  
_______ ________  
  
Eventually, we all settled in a circle on the ground, where we explained to Mirai and Hiei how we had ended up there, reluctantly concluding we had no idea how to get back.  
  
This brought us to demanding Mirai's story.  
  
"Well, one minute I was with you guys, and the next I was here in Makai. That's the demon realm. There's 3 realms to this Earth--the demon, the spirit, and the human.  
  
"Anyway, I was no sooner here, trying to figure out what had happened, when I was attacked by 2 strangers--the Itsuki and Sensui you were told about. Naturally, I defended myself. Our battle caught the attention of Hiei here, who recognized them both from when he'd fought them before. This Sensui apparently tried to kill all of Ningenkai not too long ago, and Hiei was part of the group that stopped him and Itsuki."  
  
Mirai looked over at Hiei, who remained unmoved. Mirai smiled. I could tell we were all thinking that Hiei reminded us of Vegeta--why we all instantly liked him, I suppose.  
  
Mirai continued, "Normally Hiei would have minded his own business, but when he realized who I was fighting, he joined in. I guess he really doesn't them. Anyway, we managed to subdue them, and they escaped through some sort of weird dimensional gate Itsuki made.  
  
"After that. . . well, Hiei took off, and I followed him, because he was my only contact to wherever the heck I was. Eventually he rounded on me, very annoyed, and demanded to know what I was doing. I told him I was lost and asked for help. He found my whole story interesting enough that he actually stayed around to listen to  
  
it all. Then he decided to take me to the Spirit world to the guy in charge there, to tell him that Sensui and Itsuki were back, and to see if he could send me home."  
  
He sighed. "He couldn't. He was completely out of ideas. He was going to send me to Ningenkai until I told him I wasn't human." A smirk. "So then he told Hiei to keep me out of trouble, and Hiei told him he didn't take orders from anyone, and stormed out. I followed him again.  
  
"Back in the Makai, he promptly challenged me to a duel, as we're both swordsmen, and that entertained him enough that he decided to let me be his partner, as long as I continued training with him. Not long after we'd agreed to be partners, those 2 bakas attacked us again, and we finally managed to kill them. I think. They slipped back into that portal before actually dying, so we can't say for sure. But they haven't bothered us since then.  
  
"Since then we've been traveling around the Makai. I've been here 2 months. I'm enjoying it. It's better than where I was. With Mom dead I was alone. I don't want to go back there," he finished defiantly, tossing his head and glancing at Hiei out of the corner of his eye, as if slightly worried how he'd take it.  
  
Hiei looked the tiniest bit smug, to the Vegeta Family eyes. I knew the others couldn't read him, but we'd had practice at this sort of thing.  
  
But Pan and Marron were pouting. "I want to go home!" Marron declared. "My parents will be missing me!"  
  
"And I had a date tonight," Goten complained.  
  
"You have a date *every* night," Trunks said flatly. "It's time for you to settle down."  
  
"Like you can talk, Mr. Still Most Eligible Bachelor in Japan and Pushing 30!"  
  
"Sure you're not ningens?"  
  
"Well. . . half," Goten confessed.  
  
"3/4," said Pan shortly. "But mostly, we're Saiyan!"  
  
"Except for me," Marron sighed, resting her elbows on her knees. "I'm 1/2 human, 1/2 android, and I want to go home!"  
  
Hiei sighed. "Che. Well. I could take you to Genkai. Maybe she could help."  
  
"Who's Genkai?"  
  
"One of the team who fought against Sensui. Wise old martial artist. Trained Yusuke in the Rei Gun."  
  
"Who's Yusuke?"  
  
Hiei looked away. "Guy I knew."  
  
Silence. Mirai shifted. "Koenma--that's the leader of the Reikai--he said that Hiei was once a Rekai Tantai--a spirit world detective. He and 3 other people kept mankind safe from demons. They were disbanded after the fight with Sensui. Koenma's father really doesn't like Yusuke now, because it turns out he's part demon. The other 2 detectives were named Kuwabara and Kurama. Kurama apparently is a 1000 year old fox spirit who currently inhabits a human body. It all sounded pretty complicated to me."  
  
Another pause, while we digested all this. Then, "Where can we find this Genkai?" Pan asked.  
  
Hiei stood up. He was my height, which meant he was shorter than everybody else. Well, one thing I learned from Daddy is that size has no relation to power. And apparently Hiei was, indeed, powerful.  
  
I felt myself smirking.  
  
Hiei stretched, then looked us all over, observing and judging. Finally he nodded. "Follow me."  
  
He flitted off rapidly and we followed.  
  
________ _________  
  
We ended up at a big, old temple in the Ningenkai. I felt around for ki's. One big power, and another that I was learning to recognize as demon.  
  
We walked up the front steps, to find 2 women waiting for us on the porch. One was a pink-haired old woman whose eyes said "authority, don't mess with me." The other was a gentle, sweet-seeming girl, who smiled at us happily.  
  
"Hiei!" she cried, and hugged hum, to his discomfort, and seeming secret joy. Inwardly, I frowned; who was she?  
  
And yet. . . their ki's were awfully similar. And they were both small, red- eyed demons. And he did *not* look at her like a lover.  
  
Hmm.  
  
Then I caught Trunks and Mirai both giving her nearly overwhelmed looks of admiration, and had to hide a smile.  
  
Our time here was going to prove interesting.  
  
Genkai stepped forward and introduced herself and the girl, whose name was Yukina. She looked at us expectantly.  
  
We all gave her little half-bows, as was proper. "We're seeking your guidance," Trunks announced.  
  
"Come in then," she invited.  
  
_______ _______  
  
Fast forward again, to the end of our explanations and pleas for help, to Genkai's considering, puzzled look. "Well," she said at last, "this is going to require some thinking."  
  
Some of the others sighed.  
  
She shrugged. "Why don't you stay here at the temple for awhile? Maybe we can do some research. And you two!" This was directed at Mirai and Hiei. "You're gonna stay, as well."  
  
"Good," I murmured so no one could hear. I smiled coaxingly and leaned forward to put a hand on Mirai's knee and one on Hiei's arm. "I'd like to watch you spar," I said out loud. "You're both experts, aren't you? It would be so exciting!"  
  
Of course they agreed.  
  
"After that can we eat dinner?" Goten whined.  
  
_______ ________  
  
At one end of the yard, Goten and Trunks were sparring. Marron sat nearby, watching. On the porch, Pan was getting a bit of coaching from Genkai. And at the other corner of the yard, Yukina and I watched Mirai and Hiei.  
  
Yukina was fascinated by Mirai's transformation. I gave her a summary on Saiyans as Mirai and Hiei faced off. Then they began.  
  
They moved too fast for normal human eyes to follow, but I'd been training under Daddy most of my life (not counting a short period in early adolescence when I'd sworn off fighting because it wasn't feminine. That whole incident with Bebi and the evil Shenlong convinced me that was a huge mistake).  
  
Swords clashed as they moved back and forth in a dangerous, elegant dance. And they were both experts, I hadn't just been flattering them. I felt a strange warm glow begin at the bottoms of my toes and spread up to the crown of my head. I realized I had quite definitely developed An Interest.  
  
I turned my smile to Yukina. "Do you have a boyfriend?" I asked her point- blank.  
  
She blushed. "There's a boy that calls sometimes," she confessed sweetly and innocently.  
  
"Oh?" I encouraged.  
  
"His name's Kuwabara." She looked down, all naïve maiden. "Sometimes he brings me flowers."  
  
"Love is wonderful, isn't it?"  
  
"Oh, I'm not in love!" she denied, looking back up at me. "Not yet."  
  
Interesting. "What about Hiei?"  
  
At that her look sharpened. She had realized my Interest. "Hiei is just wonderful!" she gushed. "He needs a woman! He's just like a brother to me. I'd so like to see him happy!"  
  
We evaluated each other, and we concluded we were friends. "Allies, then?" I asked her.  
  
She nodded, no longer looking at all demure or innocent. "How can I help?"  
  
"Two ways. You can tell me about him. And you can keep my overly protective brothers distracted. Especially Mirai."  
  
"I can do that." She looked gleeful, as if she very much enjoyed having a secret. And as if she truly did want to see her "brother" happy. Good.  
  
I started planning my campaign.  
  
For the first time in my life, I thought I might have met a man who could maybe match my father.  
  
_________ _________  
  
And meanwhile, unbeknownst to us, one human and one demon were still very much alive, and also about to make new friends. . . 


	2. 2: In Which We Settle In, Make Plans, an

Chapter 2: In Which We Settle In, Make Plans, and Have Conversations  
  
Just as both spars were reaching a draw, a group of people ended up at the temple doorstep, apparently attracted by the energy they had sensed being expended.  
  
I looked them over, and could guess who the boys were, at any rate.  
  
Tall, brash, and orange-haired, being scolded by a long-haired girl who was evidently his big sister. A boy with slicked-back black hair, who was laughing at him, and being scolded in turn by a brown-haired girl. And a little ways apart, a boy who was prettier than most girls I knew, with flaming red hair, exuding charm and charisma. That one *had* to be Kurama.  
  
We all halted our various activities and turned to see what would happen next. They were just the sort of people who attract stares.  
  
"Oi! Obasssan!"  
  
"Hiei!" from the fellow demon.  
  
"Yukina-san!" Ah, so that one was Kuwabara. That would make the black- haired boy Yusuke.  
  
The sister pulled a cigarette and a lighter from her pocket and regarded us all. "Is this a party? Why weren't we invited? And where did these people with such high energy come from anyway?"  
  
Genkai smiled. "Hiei brought all the company." Everyone's eyes widened and they all turned to stare at him.  
  
"Hn," was his response, crossing his arms and looking disdainful.  
  
Genkai made the introductions. The smoking girl was Shizuru and the other was Keiko, Yusuke's woman. In an officially unofficial way.  
  
They swarmed over us curiously as we instinctively grouped back together for support. My brothers observed Kuwabara's clumsy advances towards Yukina a bit jealously, but Hiei's reaction was more interesting. If I could read the signs correctly, he liked Kuwabara, but did *not* like the attention being paid to her. It was exactly the way Trunks eyed my admirers at home.  
  
Speaking of which, Trunks finally noticed Kurama was slyly flirting with me, and moved up to flank me.  
  
Yusuke derailed all this business somewhat by exclaiming, "Saiyan? What's a Saiyan?"  
  
I took it upon myself to explain. "We're a proud warrior race from the planet Vegeta-sei. There aren't many of us left. We're strong fighters, champions of good, and protectors of the Earth, where we currently live."  
  
Goten grinned. "And her father is the Prince of all Saiyans, making Trunks the current heir to the throne, and her a Princess."  
  
They stared at us. Then Pan laughed. "Which makes poor Goten and me lowly subjects, but we don't mind, since we like them so well."  
  
"It's not like you'd obey us anyway," Trunks added, throwing his arm around Pan's shoulders.  
  
"At any rate, Vegeta-sei no longer exists." I felt a momentary twinge of sadness, which I pushed away. "And we like Earth. And fighting. Oh, and eating--some of us." Pan and I looked pointedly at the boys, who grinned.  
  
I felt Hiei's eyes on me, and deliberately met them. He swallowed and instantly looked away.  
  
So. I was farther ahead than I'd thought. I managed to prevent a smirk.  
  
"Speaking of food. . ." Goten began. We all laughed.  
  
________ _________  
  
Pan, Marron, and Yukina made dinner. Kurama and Genkai helped. Keiko set the table. And while we were eating, Mirai told the story of Sensui and Itsuki again.  
  
The newcomers were not happy. At all. They discussed a few strategies in case they showed up in Ningenkai again.  
  
Then they volunteered to help us find a way to get back home. We accepted gratefully.  
  
Trunks had the dragonball radar with him, but nothing had shown up. Obviously no Namekians had ever made it to this planet. This left us searching for other options, completely in the dark.  
  
We also didn't know how long we'd be stuck here, and we had no shampoo, no changes of clothes, no lip gloss, nothing. Keiko and Shizuru therefore said they'd take us shopping for supplies in the morning.  
  
Yukina was going to stay at the temple, which meant that Mirai and Trunks both wanted to stay, too. However, the plan that the rest of us came up with was to have them go with Kurama to the library to look for ideas. Genkai had sources of her own she was going to use. That left Goten, Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Hiei.  
  
"Someone should go with the girls for protection," I heard Yusuke whisper to Kuwabara. "But I hate shopping!"  
  
"Me, too," he whispered back.  
  
"What will you boys be doing?" Yukina asked. Yusuke and Kuwabara looked at each other.  
  
"I should patrol the area to make sure our enemies aren't around," Hiei said.  
  
"I'll patrol the area," Yusuke declared loudly. "You should go with the girls to protect them. We don't know what Sensei and Itsuke will decide to do now that you're all here."  
  
Hiei's eyes got huge.  
  
"I'll help Yusuke," Kuwabara put in quickly.  
  
"Wait," Hiei began.  
  
The Fox was laughing. "Good idea. Hiei's very skilled at watching over people."  
  
"But. . ."  
  
"We don't need protection," Pan said bluntly. "We can defend ourselves. We're not weak."  
  
"No, no," I interrupted hastily before she could demonstrate. "I think he should come. He knows the enemy and the land better than we do."  
  
"Make Goten come, too, so he'll have male companionship," Marron suggested.  
  
"Hey! But I hate shopping!"  
  
"He can go and I won't," Hiei scowled, finally getting to finish a sentence.  
  
"Then it's settled," Genkai said, sounding quite amused. "Hiei and Goten will go with the girls."  
  
"Aw, man!"  
  
Hiei growled softly, then seemed to resign himself. "Hn. Baka ningens."  
  
_________ _______  
  
They left shortly after, and we all got ready for bed. Pan, Marron, and I shared a room. Marron was commenting dreamily on how good-looking and charming Kurama was, and Pan was nodding, starry-eyed herself.  
  
"You're not saying much," Marron noticed finally.  
  
I smiled. "Why would I talk about him? I have my sights set higher."  
  
They looked puzzled, then Pan figured it out. "Going after Hiei, are you?"  
  
"He'll be tricky," Marron predicted.  
  
"I know. But so am I. Stubborn, too." I finished combing my waist-length hair with the one brush we had between us. I passed it on to Pan.  
  
"You are," they agreed, giggling.  
  
"And so, he will be mine. It's inevitable. Tomorrow I begin my campaign."  
  
We flashed each other the V for Victory. As one should, before going into battle.  
  
________ _______  
  
Marron, Mirai, and I made breakfast. At 9:30 Kurama showed up and drug my brothers away. Keiko and Shizuru arrived a few minutes later and the rest of us headed downtown.  
  
Keiko had assured us our money was the same as theirs, and fortunately I had been carrying a good deal of cash on me (actually by accident).  
  
Goten had sulked for a little bit, but his natural cheerfulness soon reasserted itself. We were peppering our new companions with all kinds of questions about themselves and the others. The girls started telling us all about the fight against Sensei and Itsuki.  
  
Hiei walked along beside us impatiently, as if he wasn't used to moving so slow. I kept glancing at him out of the corner of my eye, and once I caught him glancing back. I immediately turned a smile and my charm on him.  
  
"So, you're a fire demon."  
  
He blinked. "Yes."  
  
"That explains why you always look so hot."  
  
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Good. I wanted him off balance.  
  
Pan was hiding her giggles up ahead of us. I ignored her. Goten, Marron, and Shizuru were still talking about some test of Genkai's the boys went through. Keiko was glancing back and forth between us.  
  
Hiei was simply staring at me. He *so* wasn't used to this. I decided I'd better tone it down a bit. I made my smile softer and more reassuring.  
  
"Yukina told me you can call forth a black dragon. That's why you keep your arm wrapped up, as a ward. Is it hard to control?"  
  
"Hn. Yes."  
  
"You must be powerful." I moved in closer and touched his bandaged arm. His eyes went very wide. "You have a very high ki level, you know."  
  
"Oh." He swallowed hard; I was still holding on to his arm.  
  
Out of the corner of my vision I could see Keiko's eyes bugging out of her head. It was humorous.  
  
"Kurama said you have quite a reputation in the Makai."  
  
Ah, that got a smirk out of him. Then he frowned. "When were you talking to Kurama?"  
  
Would that be jealousy?  
  
"Oh, he came up to Yukina and me after supper," I replied casually. "You must have been elsewhere." He had, in fact, been lurking in the shadows, staring out the window. Maybe this would get him to stay out in the open with the rest of us--at least me.  
  
There was a brief moment where we studied one another. Then I smiled and let go of his arm. Reluctantly. "I don't suppose you're too interested in shopping."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"But you do your duty. That's good."  
  
His eyes narrowed as he tried to figure out what I was getting at. I continued, "Not everybody knows how to be honorable. Or loyal. Some people are only out for themselves. I'm glad my brother ran into you." He blushed and shrugged.  
  
I started planning my wedding dress.  
  
________ _________ 


	3. 3: In Which More Than One Campaign Is Be

When You Finally Find One  
  
By Elbereth in April  
  
Note from Bura: some of my telling of events will be second or third hand accounts, learned after the fact (mostly from Mirai and Shizuru) but it's important for you to know certain things as they happen. So with no further ado, here's. . .  
  
Chapter 3: In Which More Than One Campaign Is Begun, and We All Think About Food  
  
Elsewhere in Ningenkai, our enemies were eating dinner. In this case, ramen.  
  
"Let's just forget the whole thing," Itsuki suggested.  
  
"No, you made a promise. You can't break your word. And besides. . ." Sensei's expression darkened. "I want to defeat them. The Urameshi Team," he sneered. "They think they're so invincible. They'll find out otherwise."  
  
Itsuki shrugged and ate more noodles. "That purple-haired kid is good. Do we have a battle plan?"  
  
"Yes. I sent out a message to an old ally of mine. He should be showing up to join us anytime."  
  
Itsuki looked vaguely jealous. "Who is it?"  
  
"His name is Gurkin. He used to work for Yomi, until he got powerful enough to set up on his own. His goal is to be an evil overlord. He could be ruling the Makai right now, if he'd had better henchmen. He's had really bad luck with henchmen. . ."  
  
"That's unfortunately true," said a voice, startling them so much Sensei dropped his bowl.  
  
There was a silver blur, then a woman was standing in front of him, holding the bowl out to him. "Yeah," she purred, "so he went and found a henchwoman instead. Name's Crystal. But you can call me Sue."  
  
"Don't ask why," Gurkin advised them. "So. Hello and all that."  
  
Itsuki stared at the two of them. The woman was obviously a demon. She had silver hair and nails as sharp and long as claws. She had a cat's ears and tail and moved in that sleek, graceful feline way. The skin of her cheeks and arms had gray tiger stripes, and her eyes were silver with a cat's narrow pupils.  
  
The man had long brown hair pulled back in a pony tail and seemingly harmless brown eyes. He looked ordinary, like any ningen you would pass in the street. He wore a casual polo shirt and blue jeans. Itsuki didn't think he looked that powerful, or evil.  
  
"All right then. What's the plan?" he repeated.  
  
"I didn't expect the woman," Sensei said instead. "What can she do? Is she powerful?"  
  
"She can move like a shadow and fight like a devil," Gurkin answered. "She's the best bodyguard I've ever had. Mind if I help myself to some ramen?"  
  
"Go ahead." Sensei stared at her appraisingly. "Very well. I shall incorporate her into my plan. Which goes like this. . ."  
  
_______ ________  
  
Fast forward to the mall after about two hours of heavy shopping, and picture 5 enthusiastic girls and 2 boys who are starting to look a little wild-eyed.  
  
"Maybe it's time for a break," Marron suggested when someone bumped Hiei and he almost decapitated her with his katana.  
  
"Let's go to the food court," Goten suggested. "I'm hungry."  
  
Marron rolled her eyes. "Of course you are."  
  
We entered the food court and looked around. "Pretzels," said Pan. "Cinnamon rolls," said Marron. "That sounds good," Keiko agreed. "Hot dogs, fried rice, and pizza!" Goten exclaimed happily. We sighed.  
  
"Sweet snow," said Hiei, with more enthusiasm than he had shown for anything yet. He bounded off to one of the counters.  
  
"Everybody meet back at a table in the middle," I called, then followed Hiei.  
  
Ice cream. What he wanted was ice cream. And he called it sweet snow. How adorable!  
  
I joined him in line. He looked at me. I smiled. "Which is your favorite flavor?"  
  
He gave this some thought. "Mocha fudge brownie."  
  
"Mm, that does sound good. I don't think they have that here, though." They only had a limited number of flavors.  
  
He examined the ice cream buckets with an experienced air. "I'll take mint chocolate chip."  
  
"I think I'll go for cookie dough."  
  
He nodded. "That's good, too."  
  
So. It appeared that Hiei was addicted to ice cream. I stored this knowledge away.  
  
"What other foods do you like, Hiei?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't know many ningen foods."  
  
"Oh, I'll have to teach you some then."  
  
It was our turn at the counter. We both ordered and got our ice cream in waffle cones. Hiei paid for his from a huge wad of bills. "Hiei, where did you get so much money?"  
  
"I stole it," he whispered. "I never got paid to be a Reikai Tantai."  
  
I was amused instead of shocked. I must be hanging out with the wrong crowd.  
  
________ ________  
  
Shizuru had followed Goten to the counter selling Oriental food. She wished she could smoke. "So," she said, to make conversation. "How old are you?"  
  
"28."  
  
"Oh? You look younger. What do you do for a living?"  
  
"Well, partly I sell capsules for Trunks. But mostly I'm a fighter in martial arts tournaments. Hercule has me promote them sometimes."  
  
"Capsules?"  
  
"Yeah, they're the latest in technology. Trunks is President of Capsule Corporation--worth billions of dollars. He's the most eligible bachelor in Japan."  
  
"Really?"  
  
Goten nodded. "We're best friends."  
  
"He must be a good guy then."  
  
"The best!"  
  
Shizuru began plotting.  
  
________ ________  
  
Sensei rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on. "So what you're telling me, essentially, is that the purple-haired Saiyan boy and the demon Hiei are no longer in the Makai."  
  
Gurkin nodded. "That's what all our sources say. Too bad you didn't know that before you made up your plan. It was a good plan, though."  
  
"Oh, shut up." He rubbed his head again, glaring at Gurkin. Then he sighed. "This is what we'll do instead. If Hiei is gone, it undoubtedly means that he's in the Ningenkai with the rest of the Urameshi gang. Crystal, I want you to verify this."  
  
__________ ________  
  
Kurama and Trunks had their heads bent over a magazine and were scanning it avidly. Trunks' mouth was hanging open. Mirai came up to them, looking around nervously. "You guys. I feel like we're being watched."  
  
Kurama looked up. "Are your Spider-senses tingling?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"A joke. Gomen."  
  
"*What* are you reading?" Mirai demanded, getting a glimpse of the title. He grabbed the magazine away. "*Glamour*?"  
  
Trunks blushed a deep red. "That article is fascinating," he protested. "And Kurama was reading it first."  
  
Kurama appeared completely unembarrassed and unrepentant. "I needed a break."  
  
"50 Ways to Have Fun in Bed," Mirai read. He looked at the two of them. "You were reading this together?"  
  
Then Kurama did blush as both boys moved away from each other. "It's not what you think!"  
  
"The top 10 foods to bring to the bedroom. . . this is rubbish." Mirai threw the magazine on to the table. "Has anybody found anything that'll get you guys home?"  
  
Kurama tossed his hair over his shoulder. "Some interesting stuff on time and space and the stability of the dimensions."  
  
"No."  
  
Mirai sighed. "Listen, I feel like somebody's around. I'm serious."  
  
"All right." The other two boys scanned the area with their senses as well as their eyes. "I don't see anybody."  
  
"I don't feel any hostile ki."  
  
"Let's go for a walk. Maybe we can tell if something follows."  
  
"OK," Trunks agreed.  
  
Kurama picked the magazine back up and went with them, walking and reading at the same time. "Listen. . . whipped cream, hot fudge, lemon pudding, cherry jello, strawberries. . ."  
  
"Would you concentrate on danger, please?"  
  
_________ ______  
  
Crystal leapt from rooftop to rooftop, following the 3 boys as they wandered aimlessly around the block. When she had first seen them, she'd rubbed her eyes, thinking she was seeing double. Wasn't there only supposed to be one with purple hair? But there were definitely two. No sign of the dark demon Hiei, but that redhead had to be his cohort, Kurama. He was certainly delectable.  
  
On the ground, Trunks whispered to Mirai, "You're right. I can feel the ki. Not overtly evil, just watching."  
  
"What do you think, Kurama?"  
  
"I would have recommended chocolate mousse, myself."  
  
Mirai prepared to remove the coat he was wearing to cover up his sword, in preparation for drawing it. Kurama held up his hands. "Gomen! I'll be serious! You're right, there's a demon around."  
  
"Let's catch it," Trunks grinned.  
  
_________ _______  
  
Marron, Pan, and Keiko reached the table first. Marron looked around. The boys were well away. "So, what's this about Kurama being a fox demon?"  
  
"He was a kitsune, a fox spirit," Keiko explained. "He was shot by a hunter and about to die, so he transferred his soul to a ningen baby. Now he's living out the life of Minamino Shiucchi, because he loves his mother."  
  
"He's a family man?"  
  
Keiko considered this, wiping her fingers on a napkin. "Kurama is complicated. He's very sweet, but he can be completely ruthless. They say he's 1,000 years old and has had dozens of lovers. Being a ningen has changed him, though."  
  
"Your Yusuke seems nice," Pan commented.  
  
Keiko blushed. "Sometimes." She tried for a tone that was casual and breezy.  
  
"What about Kuwabara?"  
  
"Oh, he's brash and loud, but very loyal. Underneath it all, he's a very sweet guy, too."  
  
Pan sighed. "At any rate, Kurama sure is good looking."  
  
Keiko laughed. "Well, yes. He has his own fan club. Girls follow him around all the time. Practically his whole school."  
  
"Huh," Pan said. "What fun is that? No challenge."  
  
"Except for the girl."  
  
"Too much challenge! Always looking over your shoulder, even once you've caught his eye."  
  
"Once you've caught him, you should be able to trust him."  
  
Pan had no answer to that.  
  
Shizuru came up and sat down then. She smiled at Pan. "So. Tell me more about Saiyans."  
  
"Um, what do you want to know?"  
  
"Begin at the beginning. Two Saiyans came to Earth."  
  
Keiko also looked fascinated.  
  
"OK, well. . . yes. That was my grandpa and Trunks and Bura's father." She paused to dip her jalapeno pretzel in cheese sauce.  
  
Hiei and I arrived at that point. "Goten still getting food?"  
  
"You know Goten," Marron laughed.  
  
"Hn," Hiei said, and licked at his ice cream.  
  
"Go on," Shizuru urged Pan.  
  
"The full story is long and complicated," Pan hedged. "Maybe Bura should tell it."  
  
"Tell what?"  
  
"Shizuru wants to know about Saiyans. From the beginning. Two Saiyans came to Earth."  
  
"Ah." I instantly understood why Pan didn't want to tell it in front of me. She was afraid she'd insult Daddy. And then she'd be in big trouble.  
  
"Very long and complicated," I agreed after thinking for a moment. "I'll sum up." And leave out *a lot*. "An evil tyrant, Frieza, ruled several galaxies. One of his subject planets was Vegeta-sei. They didn't like being in his power, but he was so strong, they had no choice.  
  
"One day Frieza demanded that the King give up his son as hostage, and even though he didn't want to, he couldn't protest. So my father, Vegeta, went to live with Frieza. Eventually Frieza became afraid of the Saiyans' growing power and rebelliousness, so he destroyed their planet. That left only 4 Saiyans alive in the universe. But Vegeta didn't know it was Frieza who blew up the planet, and he was still stuck living under him."  
  
My listeners were staring at me raptly, except Marron, who knew the story already and was concentrating on her cinnamon roll.  
  
"Pan's grandpa, Goku, had been sent to Earth as a baby to kill everyone so the planet could be sold." The girls gasped in horror. "But he hit his head and subsequently no longer even knew he was Saiyan. Now, one day, one of Vegeta's bodyguards decided to go to Earth to see what had happened to Goku, thinking maybe he could be recruited to help them overthrow Frieza. For that was Vegeta's all consuming goal, to destroy the wicked tyrant."  
  
My ice cream was melting. I ate a little. "That bodyguard was Raditz, Goku's older brother." I glanced at Pan. "Due to an unfortunate misunderstanding, Goku came to regard the other Saiyans as his enemies and they ended up killing each other."  
  
I explained the concept of dragonballs and wishes to them. "Before Raditz died, he transmitted this information to Vegeta, but Frieza heard it, too. So a big battle was fought over the dragonballs. Goku was wished back to life by his friends, including my mom. Eventually Frieza was beaten by Goku, who became the first Super Saiyan in hundreds of years. Vegeta settled down on Earth to train until he could reach Super Saiyan, too, and defeat Goku. It was a matter of pride." I accidentally caught Hiei's eye. He understood. "My mom, being rich, invited him to stay at her house and use her father's inventions to train with."  
  
Goten came and sat down then, in time to hear Keiko ask, "What happened to the fourth Saiyan you mentioned?"  
  
"Oh, um, that would be Nappa, Vegeta's other bodyguard. He died in battle."  
  
Goten raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything. He just stuffed his mouth full of hot dog.  
  
"In time, of course, Daddy did become a Super Saiyan. And Mom caught his eye, and then his heart. They got married and had Trunks and me. They're still together, and he's still the Prince of all Saiyans."  
  
Shizuru and Keiko looked back and forth between the 3 Saiyans in our party. But I ignored them. Hiei's ruby gaze riveted me, as I tried to guess his thoughts.  
  
Fast forward to when we had all finished eating and were getting up, throwing away our trash, looking around to the next store. In the confusion, Hiei sidled up next to me, with that same burning look.  
  
"Your story about Saiyans does explain one thing," he said in a near whisper. "Scarcity of something makes it more priceless and rare. You must be as treasured as a teargem." A grin that showed fang, and he flitted away as I mulled over what I realized was a vast compliment, from someone inexperienced in giving compliments. I smiled slowly, shyly.  
  
And started trying to figure out how to word the wedding invitations.  
  
----------- -----------  
  
The three boys entered a dark alley, where Trunks took to the air, heading for where he sensed the ki. Mirai shrugged. "I better go with him."  
  
"Wait!" But they were already half-way to the roof. Kurama frowned in frustration, folded the magazine, stuck it in his back pocket, and ran around to the front of the bank building and inside, looking for the stairs. 


	4. 4: In Which We Confront a Spy and Buy Ma

When You Finally Find One  
  
By Elbereth in April  
  
Chapter 4: In Which We Confront a Spy and, More Importantly, Buy Man- Catcher Dresses  
  
Kurama rounded the last bend in the stairs and found the door to the roof. Locked. Fortunately, he had been a thief, and he quickly picked the lock. Then he burst through the door and looked around.  
  
A girl oni with silver hair stood at the far edge of the roof, a lavender- haired boy on either side of her. He walked over to stand in between them.  
  
"Ah, the other one. You must be Kurama," she purred, smiling at him. "You're all so handsome! Must be my lucky day."  
  
"I don't know about lucky," Trunks returned. "What are you doing following us?"  
  
Her eyes widened with injured innocence. "Following? Me, following you?"  
  
"Give up the act, onna," Trunks sneered.  
  
"Well, you could at least be polite!" She crossed her arms and pouted.  
  
The kitsune sighed, then stepped forward and smiled charmingly. "My name *is* Kurama. How did you know? What is your name?"  
  
She smiled again, brightening. "Everyone knows about the Youko Kurama! Well. . . not everyone, but I have good contacts. You can call me Sue."  
  
"I'm pleased to meet you." He bowed.  
  
She giggled. "I've enjoyed meeting you, but I have to go now. You wouldn't know where Hiei is?"  
  
All three looked confused. "Are you a friend of Hiei's? We thought you worked for Sensei," Mirai blurted.  
  
"I work for a man--demon--named Gurkin," she replied. "He's destined to take over the Makai some day. And I'll be there when it happens. It's a small step from bodyguard to wife and Queen."  
  
"Um. . . yeah."  
  
"So you *are* a friend of Hiei's?" Kurama repeated dubiously.  
  
"Actually, he doesn't know me. But I've heard you used to be partners. I thought maybe I'd get a chance to meet him, too." She smiled. She had dimples.  
  
"We still *are* partners," Kurama snapped. "Only. . . we don't live in the same place. . ."  
  
"I'm his partner, too," Mirai put in, feeling slighted.  
  
"So he is around here somewhere?"  
  
"I don't think he'd like us to volunteer that information. He's not very social," Kurama said. Mirai nodded.  
  
"Ah, well. You can't blame a gal for wanting to meet him. Ta ta!"  
  
"Wait a minute! You still haven't explained what you're doing here or why you were watching us!" Trunks protested.  
  
"Oh, haven't I? Well, I was just out for a stroll when I picked up your auras and came to check it out."  
  
"A stroll? In Ningenkai?" Kurama laughed incredulously.  
  
"Yes, well. . ." She tilted her head down, then looked up at them through lowered eyelashes. "I have a lover here."  
  
"Human?"  
  
She nodded. "How else could I keep it secret from my boss? I can't very well be his Queen if he thinks I'm some sort of loose woman, now can I?"  
  
The 3 boys looked at each other, confused again.  
  
She grinned. "Ta ta!" She leapt off the roof, pulling some device from her cloak as she fell, then disappeared with a pop and a blip.  
  
They had run to the ledge to watch. When she was gone, they turned to each other again. "I don't think that went well," Mirai confessed.  
  
"Do you think she'll go look for Hiei?"  
  
"I don't know. . ."  
  
_________ __________  
  
"We may need party clothes," I argued, eyeing a little black dress. "You never know."  
  
"Come to think of it, I could use a new dress," Shizuru spoke up with a strange laugh. "Come on, Bura." She pulled a silky red number off the rack and headed for the changing room. I followed her, clutching the black. It wasn't long before Marron came after us with a shimmery light blue one in her hand. I smiled.  
  
Behind us, I heard Pan grumble, "I wouldn't get myself all made up to impress a boy."  
  
"No, who would?" Then, "Um, excuse me, but I may need this for strategical advantage." And Keiko was hurrying after us.  
  
Pan's eyes narrowed. "Strategical advantage, huh?" She grabbed something off the rack and stomped off in our wake.  
  
Two bewildered men stared at each other behind us, then sighed again and settled down to wait.  
  
________ ________  
  
Crystal (aka Sue) let out a deep breath. That had been close! She'd had to think fast to come up with that make-believe story about a lover. And they'd bought it! As if she could ever desire anybody else besides Gurkin. . . That part about bodyguard to Queen was true. . .  
  
She shook her head. That was beside the point. She couldn't let her thoughts wander. She'd made her escape via Itsuki's handy portal-opener; now back to business!  
  
__________ ___________  
  
We stood before the long three-way mirror in the ladies' dressing room-- Pan, Marron, Keiko, Shizuru, and I. We were decked out in high style. And-- to be immodest--we looked darn good.  
  
"These, girls, are what I like to call man-catcher dresses," I said, smiling widely.  
  
They smiled back.  
  
"I've got money; I suggest we splurge."  
  
"When will we wear them?" Keiko asked.  
  
"Trust me, I will think of something."  
  
Marron giggled. "She always does."  
  
I hit her lightly on the shoulder. "That was for fun. I'm *serious* now. I have a man and a mission."  
  
"Is that what you were doing, flirting with Hiei?" Keiko asked, eyes big. "With *Hiei*?"  
  
I looked at her. "Why not Hiei?"  
  
"He's just always so cold and angry."  
  
"I like them that way. Apparently." I pushed my hair back and thought that over. "I like them mysterious and troubled. That way I can soothe them." Yes, that sounded better.  
  
"Brooding and dangerous," Pan provided.  
  
"Yes." I smoothed the sides of the dress down, contemplating the mirror again. Deep black, snug on the top, flared skirt, reaching mid- thigh. Oh yeah. "Keiko likes them dangerous, too."  
  
Keiko blushed but looked amazingly unruffled.  
  
"What about you, Shizuru?" Marron asked.  
  
"I like them nice, rich, strong, and successful."  
  
"Hmm. . . That's a lot to ask of one guy. Is there anybody around here who would fit that bill?" Keiko asked. Pan, Marron, and I exchanged glances. I knew who immediately came to my mind: my brother. But surely she wasn't thinking of him?  
  
"I have a few ideas," Shizuru replied with a smug smile.  
  
She was! A strange surge of protectiveness came over me as I debated whether this girl I barely knew was good enough for my brother. She did seem to be remarkably wise, and he needed all the steadying down he could get. I shrugged. I would just have to get to know her better, and in the meantime, if she could distract Trunks, and Yukina could distract Mirai, I could concentrate on Hiei.  
  
"We'd better get back to the boys," Pan advised. "They don't like waiting in clothing stores."  
  
"Too true."  
  
We went to get changed.  
  
___________ ___________  
  
To Itsuki's surprise, he found himself liking Gurkin. While Sensei napped in the bedroom, he and Gurkin had been talking.  
  
"I can never sleep anymore," Gurkin sighed, looking out the window. "I used to be able to, when I was working for Yomi. I don't know what happened. Stress, I suppose. The pressures of leadership. It's hard being evil. Everyone assumes we spend all our time in self-gratification, but let me assure you, this is not the case. We have to be disciplined. We have to be hard-working. How else can we become strong enough to crush everyone in our path? How else can we maintain abject fear in the hearts of our minions and subjects, once we've achieved absolute tyranny?"  
  
Itsuki nodded. "I understand."  
  
Gurkin turned and looked at him. "You do?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
His eyes dewed up, he felt truly touched. "Ah, a kindred spirit!"  
  
"Can't Crystal help you sleep?"  
  
Gurkin sighed again. "She bought me this." He rummaged around in the bag he'd brought with him from the Makai. He pulled out a small, square device.  
  
"An alarm clock?"  
  
"No, no, look. It's like a radio. It plays," he read from the box, "Sounds to Sleep By. It can be programmed to Ocean, Waterfall, Rain Forest, White Noise, Crickets, Thunder Storm. . . the list goes on." He handed it to Itsuki.  
  
Itsuki examined it. "Hmm. But it doesn't help?"  
  
Gurkin shook his head sadly. "It just annoys me."  
  
Poor Gurkin, Itsuki thought. "Maybe I can come up with something."  
  
Gurkin's face lit up. "Could you?"  
  
"I'll do my best."  
  
"In the meantime, I shall drink some warm milk, pull all the shades, and retire to the guest bedroom. I shall play Water Fall and read Machievelli. Not that any of that will help. Send Crystal in when she returns."  
  
Itsuki nodded. He would take a nap soon as well, but first he would concentrate on his new friend's problem.  
  
_________ ________  
  
We were just winding down with our shopping. We stood in front of an ornate fountain done in blue tile. It was large and round, with a centerpiece that reached up over six feet of basins in alternating sizes; quite impressive, really. I watched it while Goten whined.  
  
"Aren't we done yet?"  
  
"Yes, fine, we're done," Marron threw up her hands, looking thoroughly exasperated with him.  
  
"Good!" His whole face lit up with such pure and innocent joy it was hard to stay annoyed with him. "Before we go I want to look at the Toys R Us!"  
  
Shizuru started laughing. "You're as bad as my ni-chan. I suppose we could let you go, as your reward for all this 'girlie' shopping."  
  
"What about you, Hiei?" Pan asked him, amused.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"He means toys are for children and he's above such things," I interpreted at their confused looks.  
  
"Oh."  
  
He looked at me, then pointed down the hall. Four stores back we'd passed "Johansen's Knives." I grinned.  
  
So Goten was happily looking at Transformers with a reluctant Marron, Shizuru, and Keiko. Pan and I had tagged along with Hiei to the knife store, where he was staring with undisguised longing at a black dragon- handled katana, I was admiring a Celtic dagger, and Pan was checking over the Swiss army knives.  
  
The three of us jumped when we felt a strange, ominous ki.  
  
"Demon," said Hiei.  
  
"Where?"  
  
Hiei didn't answer, he just headed out. Pan and I hurridly followed. We traced the ki to a girl sitting on a bench by the fountain, eating bite- sized peanut butter cookies. She had silver hair covered by a cream sunhat, a cream sleeveless T-shirt, black pants, and boots. Her eyes were silver and so were her long nails. For a moment I thought she had s silver belt, then I realized it was a tail. Saiyans can spot these things.  
  
"Who are you?" Pan demanded of her.  
  
She licked cookie crumbs off her fingers and stood up. "Who are *you*?" she questioned back. "I'm just sitting here minding my own business and you accost me."  
  
"You're a demon." Hiei's hand was on the hilt of his sword.  
  
She blinked at him, then smiled. "Ah. *You're* Hiei."  
  
He scowled. "One more time, who are you?"  
  
"Call me Sue. I just came from Kurama. He has a message for you."  
  
We glanced at each other, then back to the girl. "Well, what is it?"  
  
"He thinks he and Trunks are being spied on by the enemy."  
  
Hiei tightened his grip on his sword.  
  
"Something about this girl put me off, but I wasn't sure what. "What does he expect us to do about it?"  
  
She shrugged. "Just be careful."  
  
"Kurama never mentioned any friends named Sue."  
  
She laughed. "He's 1,000 years old! Do you think you know all his friends? Have you told him all *your* secrets, Hiei?"  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be in the Makai?" I asked, frowning at her.  
  
She grinned and picked up her paper bag of cookies. "I just wanted to do some shopping."  
  
She ran to the other side of the fountain as Hiei was drawing his blade. Pan chased after her. I went around the other way, and Hiei jumped over the top. We all met up on the other side, but she was gone.  
  
_________ ___________  
  
Crystal strolled into Sensei's hide-out, well-pleased with herself. She always enjoyed meeting new people. True, she doubted that her employer or his friends had wanted her to actually interact with anyone, but it was more fun that way. And she'd kept them off-balance long enough to escape each time. She'd always been a good liar. And she'd gathered the necessary information.  
  
"Hiei is definitely in the Ningenkai," she reported once they were all gathered in the living room. "So are the two Saiyans."  
  
"Two?" Itsuki raised his eyebrows.  
  
"Two purple-haired guys with Kurama at the library. Two ningen girls with Hiei at the mall."  
  
Sensei propped his elbows on the back of Itsuki's chair. "Probably Keiko and Botan."  
  
"Where were the other two? Yusuke and Kuwabara?"  
  
Crystal shrugged. "Not there."  
  
"I'm sure they're around," Gurkin stated, leaning back on the couch and crossing his arms behind his head.  
  
"Well then, it's time to devise the next step in our plan."  
  
---------------- -------------  
  
"Yusuke!"  
  
"Hey, Botan! What are you doing in this neighborhood?"  
  
"I just picked up a couple souls," she replied. Kuwabara shuddered.  
  
She floated on her oar in front of the boys, smiling at them. "I haven't seen you in awhile. What's happening?"  
  
"Sensei, that's *who's* happening. Hiei told you guys about that, right?"  
  
She grimaced. "Yes."  
  
"We're patrolling. Nothing will get past the ever-vigilant eye of the Great Kuwabara Kazuma!"  
  
"Riiiight."  
  
"It's time to meet back up with the others by now, though," Yusuke said, looking at his watch.  
  
"Oh, can I come? I want to say hi to everyone!"  
  
"Of course you can! Since when have you needed an invitation?"  
  
"Well. . . things are a little different now. Lord Enma still wants to kill you, and your team is sort of disbanded. . ."  
  
Yusuke and Kuwabara immediately looked depressed, and Botan was sorry she'd answered. "But you've always ignored official rules," she added quickly. "Since when have you needed anyone's say-so to be Team Urameshi? You guys are a great team and great fighters, and Lord Enma can't change that!"  
  
"That's right!" Kuwabara perked up. "We are the champions of Ningenkai! We shall protect our new friends from harm and help them get home! We shall defeat all our enemies!"  
  
Yusuke grinned. Botan applauded. Then she looked confused. "Friends? What new friends?"  
  
"Ah, you haven't heard the whole story. Well, we'll tell you as we go. . ." 


	5. 5: In Which Kuwabara Spills One of Hiei'

When You Finally Find One  
  
By Elbereth in April  
  
Chapter 5: In Which Kuwabara Spills One of Hiei's Dark Secrets  
  
We all met back up at Genkai's temple. The spirit guide Botan was there as well, having run into Yusuke while he and Kuwabara were patrolling. They hadn't seen anything, but Mirai and I described the encounters our groups had had.  
  
"Was this demon a spy for Sensui?" Botan frowned.  
  
"Well, she wasn't a friend of mine," Kurama said.  
  
"Hn. Me, either."  
  
"Do you *have* friends?" Kuwabara asked.  
  
"Of course he does," Kurama defended him before Hiei could get angry.  
  
"Everything was quiet here," Yukina told us softly. She had ended up sitting between Mirai and Hiei, when Kuwabara hadn't been quite fast enough. I had maneuvered next to Hiei, of course, and Kurama had wormed himself in on my other side, just shy of the point of being uncomfortably close. Trunks, who had also been heading towards Yukina, and then me, found himself confounded on both accounts, and stood confused for a moment until Shizuru tugged gently on his arm. "There's a chair here next to me," she pointed, smiling. He sat.  
  
"So what do we do about that demon?" Pan asked, face scrunched up in worry.  
  
"She's gone now," Yusuke shrugged. "We just have to keep an eye out for her."  
  
"And expect Sensui at any moment," Kurama added. "Now that he's shown an interest again."  
  
We all nodded.  
  
"In the meantime, quit looking so glum," Genkai ordered, standing up. "You youngsters surely know how to keep yourselves entertained the rest of the night. Have at it." She went off to have a smoke.  
  
"I have food ready," Yukina announced. "Can someone help me carry it in here?"  
  
"I will!" Kuwabara spoke first this time, but Hiei shot to his feet with a murderous glare. "No, *I* will."  
  
"I already volunteered, shrimp."  
  
To head this off, I stood up, hands on my hips, reaching almost exactly the same height as Hiei. "Hey!" I exclaimed with as much wounded indignation as I could muster. "What are you insulting short people for?"  
  
Kuwabara turned to me, looking flummoxed, and Hiei and Yukina ran away toward the kitchen while he apologized to me. Then he noticed they'd disappeared, and sat back down again, preparing to sulk.  
  
"So," Goten said, "the girls were telling us earlier about your battles with Sensui and his gang."  
  
Kuwabara roused himself, looking suddenly wicked. "I bet they didn't tell you about Sam." The 3 members of the Urameshi team still present exchanged amused glances.  
  
"We promised never to tell," Botan nervously reminded the boys. They only started to laugh.  
  
"Wait! What's this?" Shizuru wanted to know. "Why haven't I heard about this?"  
  
Keiko looked pointedly at her man. "Yeah!"  
  
"Hiei will kill you if he finds out you told," Kurama warned, but he still looked amused.  
  
"Oh, tell," urged Trunks, who still considered Hiei a competitor for Yukina.  
  
"OK," Kuwabara agreed without hesitation. We all leaned forward so we wouldn't miss anything. I know I was intrigued. "When the humans with special powers started appearing, we met up with an unusual fellow while we were walking back from Genkai's. . ."  
  
Kuwabara's Tale:  
  
"Ha ha ha!" A weaselly looking fellow with shaggy brown hair bounded out of an alley to block their path. "Give me all your money!"  
  
"Boy, did you pick the wrong people to rob, pal," Yusuke laughed as Kurama moved to stand in front of Botan.  
  
"Ha ha ha ha! That's what you think! You have now entered my field! Unless you can beat me, I will kill you and take your money! Ha ha ha!"  
  
"Not another weirdo with powers," Kuwabara sighed.  
  
Hiei had his sword pointed at the skinny man's throat, whose eyes crossed to look at it. "You'll be the one dying, baka ningen."  
  
"Oh, you're wrong! You can't beat me that way! You're in my field!" He looked back at Hiei and grinned madly.  
  
"Don't, Hiei," Kurama warned. "Remember last time."  
  
Hiei grunted and lowered the blade slowly.  
  
The man began swaying in place, bouncing slightly, chanting, "My field, my field. . ."  
  
Hiei's hands twitched.  
  
"Who *are* you?" Yusuke scowled.  
  
The man spread out his arms. "I am the Magnificent, Stupendous, Mighty. . . Sam!"  
  
"O---K."  
  
Yusuke grinned. "He sounds like you, Kuwabara."  
  
"Oi!" Kuwabara aimed a swing at Yusuke, who ducked. "I don't sound that stupid!"  
  
"Yes, you do," the other four chorused.  
  
"I challenge--you!" Sam cried exaltedly, ignoring this last exchange. He pointed at Hiei.  
  
"Ch'. Baka." Hiei sheathed his katana and shoved his hands in his pockets. When Sam didn't stop pouting from being called a baka, he prompted, "Well? How are we fighting?"  
  
Sam brightened up then. "I challenge you to--the Ultimate Old T.V. Show Jingle Singing Contest!"  
  
They all just stared at him.  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"Pst. Kurama!" Hiei motioned him closer with a tilt of his head.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What's a jingle?"  
  
The others all sweatdropped. "I believe he is referring to T.V. show theme music," Kurama replied. "All T.V. shows have songs that are played at the beginning of the show, during the credits."  
  
"He wants me to sing."  
  
"Exactly!" Sam exclaimed happily. "I'll sing one, then you'll sing one. When one of us can't counter, the other has won. The songs must be catchy, from a show no longer taping new episodes, and they must have words."  
  
"Ah." Hiei nodded. "Very well. One last question. Kurama."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"What's a T.V. show?"  
  
Everyone fell over.  
  
Kurama recovered first. "You know, Hiei. Television. The box in my living room with the moving pictures."  
  
Sam sprang up. "Ha ha ha! I am sure to defeat you!"  
  
The others stood as well. "Hiei. . . do you know *any* T.V. jingles?" Yusuke asked.  
  
". . ."  
  
"Hiei?"  
  
". . . no."  
  
Kuwabara leapt forward. "I, the Great Kuwabara Kazuma, will take you on, Sam! I am well-versed in old T.V. shows, for I have often cut school and watched reruns! I shall beat you and save Hiei's life!"  
  
"I don't need your help, baka!" Hiei scowled angrily.  
  
"No offense, Hiei, I think you do," Yusuke whispered to him.  
  
"But I challenged the little one," Sam whined.  
  
"What's wrong?" Kuwabara taunted. "Is the mighty Sam afraid to face *me*?"  
  
"Never!" Sam's face set determinedly. "Very well. We shall battle! I will begin with. . . Gilligan's Island!  
  
"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. . ."  
  
"Argh!" Yusuke held his head. "That'll be going through my mind for a good couple hours!"  
  
Sam laughed maniacally.  
  
Kuwabara remained undaunted. "Well, take this--The Munsters!"  
  
The following two hours and twenty-seven minutes were heated. And, for the listeners, annoying.  
  
"Mr. Ed!"  
  
"Cheers!"  
  
"The Facts of Life!"  
  
"The Love Boat!"  
  
"Um, Kuwabara, why do you know that one? Tell me you don't watch The Love Boat!" Yusuke was laughing.  
  
"Shut up, Urameshi!" Kuwabara blushed. "You're interfering with our battle!"  
  
"Family Ties!"  
  
"The Muppets!"  
  
"The Dukes of Hazzard!"  
  
"Ah, that one'll be in my head awhile," Kurama complained.  
  
"You just watched it to see Daisy Duke, didn't you?" Yusuke nudged him with his elbow. Kurama blushed. Botan stared at him.  
  
"The Smurf Song!"  
  
Sam shook his head. "Doesn't count. No words."  
  
" 'La' is a word!"  
  
"Nope."  
  
Kuwabara frowned. "Oh, all right. The Jeffersons!"  
  
___________ __________  
  
(Meanwhile, while Kuwabara was sharing his story. . .)  
  
"Go ahead then, Sensui. Tell us your plan."  
  
"Well, um." He cleared his throat. "I haven't made one up yet. I've been sleeping."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"But I'm going to work on it now! Come on, Itsuki." He and his partner left the room.  
  
Gurkin sighed. "I should be working on something evil right now."  
  
"I picked you up something!" Crystal bounded over and joined him on the couch, pulling a library book from her cloak. "Here!"  
  
Gurkin read the title. "'Babysitting for Profit and World Domination.'"  
  
"I thought you could raise up your own minions," Crystal told him excitedly. "Yours for the corrupting! Then you could have truly loyal, competent henchmen! "  
  
Gurkin stared from her to the book and back again. "Through babysitting?"  
  
She laughed. "People always need sitters! Or, or, maybe you could start your own daycare! Exposure to more kids that way."  
  
Gurkin's expression turned thoughtful.  
  
_________ __________  
  
(Back to Kuwabara's Tale. . .)  
  
"Three's Company!"  
  
"The Greatest American Hero!"  
  
"Different Strokes!"  
  
"Ooh, good one."  
  
"Hong Kong Phooey!"  
  
"Kuwabara watches way too much T.V.," Kurama whispered to Yusuke.  
  
"What time is it now?"  
  
"They've been going on for over three hours."  
  
"The Flintstones!"  
  
"The Jetsons!"  
  
"Mr. Roger's Neighboorhood!"  
  
"Fiend!" Kuwabara exclaimed, far too caught up in this. "Not the Neighbor song!"  
  
"Yes! Ha ha ha ha!"  
  
"Get on with it, Kuwabara." Hiei rolled his ruby eyes.  
  
"Fear not, Hiei!" Kuwabara shouted. "I *shall* save you!"  
  
Hiei gaped at him.  
  
"I have the jingle to end all jingles!" Kuwabara continued proudly.  
  
"Impossible!" Sam laughed. "I am invincible!"  
  
"Fool! Just wait!" Kuwabara paused. The others waited, wide-eyed and breathless. Even Sam felt the tension.  
  
Kuwabara cleared his throat. "Here's the story, of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls. . ."  
  
Everyone took a step back, horror on their faces. Yusuke's hands clamped over his ears, to no avail.  
  
"All had hair of gold, like their mother, the youngest one in curls. . ."  
  
Sam let out a despairing wail. "Curses! You were right! No one can top the Brady Bunch! I'll be singing that song the rest of the day! You have won!" He began to weep as his field shuddered and collapsed.  
  
"Let that be a lesson to you!" Kuwabara laughed. "No one can out-sing the ever-heroic, all-wise, Kuwabara Kazuma!"  
  
"I hate you," Yusuke said, trying to stop himself from humming.  
  
Hiei's katana was back at Sam's throat. "You have 3 seconds to take a vow of silence before I cut your tongue out. 1. . . 2. . ."  
  
"All right, all right," Sam gasped, terrified by the malice in Hiei's eyes. "I swear I'll never sing again!"  
  
Hiei let him go finally when Kurama patted him on the back. "It'll be OK."  
  
"Yes!" Kuwabara whooped as Sam ran away as fast as he possibly could. "Now that I have saved you, Hiei. . ."  
  
Hiei whipped around and glared at Kuwabara. "You did *not* save me."  
  
He grinned. "I did. Admit it."  
  
"I didn't need your interference!"  
  
"Come on, Hiei, who's the man?"  
  
Hiei's eyes flashed and his blade came up again. "I'm warning you, ningen. . ."  
  
Kuwabara came and leaned down, until their faces were only about a foot apart. "Just say, 'Hi, I'm Hiei, and Kuwabara's my savior.' Go on."  
  
Hiei's face turned red, then white, then red again. Kurama quickly stepped in between them. "Let me kill him, Kurama," Hiei hissed.  
  
"I can't, Hiei. I'm sorry. He did beat Sam. He was the one who thought of the Brady Bunch."  
  
"*I* think you should kill him."  
  
They all turned to Botan in shock. "Nani? Why?" Kuwabara demanded, an expression of betrayal on his face.  
  
Botan was pouting. "I've never seen that show. I've never heard that song before. But even I will have that song going through my head the rest of the day."  
  
Kurama started to laugh.  
  
Yusuke grabbed Botan's hand. "Quick, we'll go back to my place and listen to The Offspring to counter-act it!"  
  
Kuwabara huffed, "Such ingratitude!"  
  
Kurama took Botan's other hand, still laughing. "I'm coming, too. But I don't think Botan will like that group. How 'bout The Beatles?"  
  
The way was now clear for Kuwabara to see Hiei's face again. "Next time we're in a fight, Hiei, don't hesitate to call on me to save. . ."  
  
Smoke began to rise from Hiei's arm as his aura exploded. All four stopped dead and stared at him in fear. "None of you will ever speak of this again. You will tell no one. *It Did Not Happen.* Is that understood?"  
  
Eyes huge, they all nodded. Hiei impaled Kuwabara with his gaze. Gulping hard, Kuwabara nodded fiercely.  
  
"Fine." Hiei sheathed his sword and flitted off. Just before even the blur of his shadow vanished, they heard a deep voice humming a few strains of the Brady song, then one last fading sentence. . . "Argh, I hate you all!"  
  
_______ ________  
  
Kuwabara finished his tale. For a moment, there was total silence. Then, "No way. Is that all true, Yusuke?" Keiko asked.  
  
He assured her that it was. More silence.  
  
Then, simultaneously, we all burst out laughing. Yukina and Hiei entered at that moment with the food.  
  
"What's going on?" Yukina asked innocently.  
  
The only reply was from Yusuke, who managed to whistle the first couple bars of That Tune in between hysterical giggles.  
  
Hiei's jaw clenched. He carefully set the food on the table, so as not to upset all of Yukina's hard work. Then he started undoing the bandages on his arm.  
  
Kurama jumped up. "Hiei, Hiei, we're just kidding!"  
  
"Traitorous fox. Shut up!"  
  
"Just ignore them, Hiei. They'll calm down eventually," Mirai said.  
  
It's possible reason might have worked, if Kuwabara hadn't struck an exaggerated super-hero pose and yelled, "That's right, who's the man?"  
  
Kurama rolled his eyes and sat back down, Botan squealed and covered her eyes, and Yusuke shielded Keiko.  
  
Yukina grabbed Hiei's arm. "Please don't kill him." She looked at him with pleading, liquid eyes.  
  
"Why bother killing him?" I added, standing up and walking over to the two of them. "What has he proved except he watches television and you don't? He's just a ningen." Yukina glanced at me, then stepped away, while remaining in front of us, conveniently concealing us from everyone else watching. I leaned close, closer. "And you," I breathed in his ear, "are one hot, forceful, dangerous fire demon. You have better things to do than waste your time on him."  
  
"Like what?" he mumbled back.  
  
"Go outside to the porch and I'll join you in two minutes. You'll find out then." I gave him my most seductive smile.  
  
He blushed, nodded, and disappeared.  
  
Yukina was smiling as she draped an arm around each of my brothers. "You like tofu, right? I made lots."  
  
I stretched and looked around the room. Most people looked confused, but Marron flashed me a V with her fingers.  
  
"I thought I was dead for sure," Kuwabara said in surprise.  
  
"Yeah, what's up with that?" Yusuke wondered.  
  
I went and sat down next to Goten. "What jingle are you humming?" he asked me.  
  
Had I been humming? Oh. . . I blushed just a bit, realizing what song it was. "Nothing," I laughed, and then diverted his attention to the food.  
  
The Wedding March still resounded smugly around my mind, refusing to leave my head. 


End file.
